“Love after Love”

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The time will come

when, with elation,

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror,

and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

–Derek Walcott.

…this reminds me of a column I wrote about self-love. Isn’t it funny when you say: “OMG this reminds me of myself!” All arrows point to me! I think only, ever of myself. So maybe I don’t need to even concern myself with self-love, oh no, this is just a message for the poor lonely girls who can’t even look in the mirror without seeing someone else. And I hope I know that I’m kidding.

I think you can practice loving yourself even when you’re with someone else. Yes this is me trying to have the best of both worlds. Yes this is me wishing I were confident and wonderful and on the arm of someone who thought that too. Sometimes I think I am. But sometimes I think I could be doing more. Loving harder? In all directions, not just in the one that points in in in to my own heart. Wrapping my arms around every little thing that I see. Harumph.

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