I’m going through an I-love-Charleston so much phase. I think it’s a convergence of everything in my life : I moved to a beautiful new house on James Island (you don’t have to be downtown), I love my job (over and over again), and I am free and single and mingling on at least two online dating sites (which I know I’ll get sick of, tomorrow). But for now! In this very moment things are coming up roses.
I question my happiness. Is it the Fourth of July? In the face of the Emanuel AME tragedy I cannot find an excuse for my joy. Their sorrow is not my sorrow. But how badly I want their happiness to be mine.
I cringe at the word “martyr” used to describe the victims. I cry sometimes. Did they want that?
My last Fourth of July was good, until a point. And then. It was very bad.
So this year, I wonder, do I celebrate all that I have — do I mourn all that has been taken from me? And what of those who have nothing left? Those who could God bless America if America gave a shit?
Maybe I’m being dramatic. Again, what do I know. I drank a beer on my back steps i tonight (I have a yard!) and watched my sweet Emma run around. My life, as I’ve always said, is so small. But I cannot ignore what is big, what is there. What can my words do?
I hope that I can interview Aziz Ansari soon. That autocorrects to AZIZ ANSARI because I maybe told all my friends that I was interviewing him.
It has yet to be confirmed.
He wrote this book about love and it focuses on how our generation aka millennials find it.
That’s why I joined Tinder (ok and fucking bumble too). Because AZIZ said that it was like saying hi to a hot guy in your neighborhood. Sort of.
Love is love is love. I tell myself this a lot. It was so appropriate last Friday — bravo equal rights! But I think it applies to everything in life. If I’ve met you, I probably love you. I apolo gize for the inconvenience, but that’s just how I operate.
I won’t get anything from these dating sites. I will move on to real humans. I will say farewell to matches. I will trust a friend to hook it up (hi Georgia, hi Stewart, I miss y’all) and I will march on. But I won’t give up on connection.
Is that what I seek? Virtual or real life?
Connection. I’m young enough to hope for it and too old not imagine it won’t be there.